Okay, so this title may be a bit misleading. And to be completely fair, there are plenty of perfectly healthy foods that my daughter willingly ingests on a regular basis. She is a happy, healthy, active child. We are not by any means, in a situation which there are any actual causes for concern. Unless you’d like to hear more about my post-dinner wine intake.
Delia has been a valiant (and I hate the term) “picky eater” for the last 5 years, people. I’m all too familiar with the art of modifying to appease the supper time struggle. But, the truth is, my wounds are still fresh from last night’s defeat and I wanna talk about it.
I N E E D T O V E N T.
It’s Monday afternoon and I just finished a long day at the office. (We all know that Monday’s are the worst, but THIS Monday was especially brutal because I was out-of-town the previous Thursday & Friday and had a ton of catching up to do.) After picking Delia up from dance and doing a light errand, we made our way home for our usual weekday song and dance.
As dinner time was quickly approaching, I opted for the easy way out. Burgers. Safe, simple, crowd-pleasing burgers. We always keep such conveniences in the freezer for nights such as these. However, to my dismay, upon reaching for the frozen miracle patties, I discovered that we were completely out of the beef variety. AKA the only burger option that (up until this point) I’d ever been brave enough to introduce to Delia.
Now, what I did have, were veggie burgers. I personally love veggie burgers, and maybe it was mom brain, or maybe it was my own selfish desire to just hurry up so I could sit down to eat, but this little voice in the back of my head was telling me
Side Note: In my defense, this little stunt to try to play off the veggie burger as a typical greasy meat burger was totally backed by supporting evidence and knowledge of foods that Delia doesn’t have any qualms with. Please see listed below.
Delia Approved Vegetables:
- Carrots (raw)
- Broccoli (cooked)
- Brussels Sprouts
- Spinach (raw)
- Green Beans
So, you see? I mean really, what even is a veggie burger if not just half of those ingredients all mushed up together?
I digress. Delia is served a plain burger with cheese on a sesame bun. Just the way she likes it. I will admit, that out of fear, I did not cut this in half, as I normally would. She looks. She smells. She pokes and prods, just as she would to even the most familiar of foods. She must examine every last millimeter of what she is about to consume. This trait of hers makes me proud of how observant and cautious she is, but, in this particular situation, IRRITATED AF.
(me during literally every meal, every day)
Anyways, she obviously noticed.
She noticed right away. She noticed right away and looked up at me with these eyes. These eyes that were filled with this little tiny-girl version of betrayal. These eyes that burned right through my tired, hungry, soul.
My last option (and lets be real this is the only option because at this point I’m just so over it) was to coax her into trying a bite with the hopes she might just actually like it. I tried to remind her of the love she has for all of the vegetables that were inside the patty. I told her it was delicious. I took a huge bite out of my own burger (because I was friggin starving && *OVER IT*) to show her that it was safe and enjoyable. She then choked up nerve to taste the burger on the promise that she would in fact like it. And also because at this point we are all hangry and just want to finish this charade so we can watch JeopARDY LIKE THE NORMAL FUN LOVING FAMILY THAT WE ARE.
And you guys. This. This is what I get.
At this point, I’m out of patience, out of memes, out of time before jeopardy starts.
She spat, griped, moaned, whined, and carried on. And it was done. Stalemate.
I sent her to bed without dinner. Okay, I let her eat the other stuff on her plate but I mean how much sustenance does a small portion of plain (because picky) romaine & corn actually provide?
I felt horrible. She felt horrible. We all felt horrible.
In the end, after I finished my nightly routine, I woke her up at 11pm with regret filled hugs and kisses. I let her eat a bowl of Lucky Charms. I let her spend the remainder of the night in my bed. We curled up together and read a few chapters of her current fave -Nancy Drew, and all was right with the world.
- Sometimes dinners suck.
- Sometimes I make poor parenting decisions.
- Sometimes we eat sugar filled cereal at midnight.
Such is #momlife.