H O L Y S M O K E S
Welp. In a blink of an eye and a click of a mouse it has almost been 2 years since my last blog post. So much for reaching goals and documenting memories! Whoops. But let’s not beat ourselves up over broken promises. Let’s not dwell on the coulda shoulda woulda & what ifs of Ghosts of Blog Posts Past. And HEAVEN FORBID that we totally succumb to the merciless Mom Guilt Black Hole that’s inside of our hearts (located right next to where we keep our very secret & strangely weird love for all things murder mysteries and the wonderful exciting scary thoughts/ feels they provide us with) BECAUSE this is not the place for that. I will not allow myself to SHAME myself. And I won’t allow YOU (a special friend) to think that it’s okay for you to do it either. Everything is FINE. We’re GUCCI.
It’s. No. Big. Deal.
SO – Wanna know what you missed?
Please see below Major Events in chronological order of the past 2 years in brief detail:
- AUG. 2017 – Delia started 1st Grade.
- JAN. 2018 – John & I got ENGAGED!
- FEB. 2018 – Delia & I moved in with John.
- MAR. 2018 – I quit my job.
- JULY 2018 – John turned 30!
- AUG. 2018 – John and I got MARRIED!
- AUG. 2018 – Delia started 2nd Grade.
- MAR. 2019 – John & I are EXPECTING!
OMG! WAIT! WHAT? DID I JUST… !? IS THIS A.. !?!
DID THIS JUST BECOME A PREGNANCY ANNOUNCEMENT!?!
Nah – probably only like 5 people are actually going to read this – 3 of which probably already know… Hi Lauren! FaceTime me later?
Okay, okay. In all seriousness, I guess I DID just make a pretty big announcement. I should probably go into some more detail. Right? I mean, for like ~life documenting purposes~ and stuff 🙂
Please see Bump Updates in chronological order of the past 9 weeks in brief detail:
- Week 4 – I took a pregnancy test on March 28th, a few days after my missed period & it was POSITIVE! (John was present & we were both ecstatic!)
- Week 5 – My body craved crunchy vegetables/ salads, John and I told Delia the good news & everything was PURE BLISS!
- Week 6 – Nausea and fatigue HIT. ME. HARD. I spent the majority of this week curled up in the fetal position.
- Week 7 – John & I went to our first Prenatal Appt. – We got to see baby and hear heartbeat via Ultrasound! ~SO SWEET~ Strangely, shortly after this my entire body broke out in hives, my hands began to swell, and I made 2 visits to the ER! We good now.
- Week 8 – Nausea returns & with a VENGEANCE. Who really needs food anyways!?
- Week 9 – Feeling my absolute BEST mentally & physically since finding out I’m pregnant! So happy and excited to share the news with everyone 🙂
So now I’m just anxiously anticipating my next appointment where we’ll do blood tests & all that fun stuff. I’m a little nervous because I’m currently in search of a new doctor – I absolutely love the woman I was seeing but she doesn’t do OB. However, I’ve been given some great recommendations and am confident we’ll find the perfect fit soon!
With all of this wonderful news I’m choosing to share, I can’t help but to feel the weight of the silence I’ve kept for so long. I KNOW. I KNOW. But this is not any of the aforementioned “mom guilt” This is just me hitting myself with some TRUTH. Some truth that I think I need to see in black & white in front of my face. It’s difficult to put into words because it’s something that’s not quite there yet somehow always present. Something that has closely followed me my entire life and sometimes has managed to grab hold of my coattail. Wait. What? Is this really turning into a mental health post? Nah. I’m happy. I have a good life. I have an amazing family & support system. BUT – Yes, I also have a little gray rain cloud. Sometimes it clears up and the sun comes out. Sometimes it thunders for weeks on end. But I refuse to continue to ignore the fact that it does exist. I also refuse to try and keep it hidden. Everything isn’t always FINE. But we’re still GUCCI. Maybe you relate?
A N Y W A Y S
With all of THAT being said! ~HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF~ I can’t help but to feel this warm fuzzy feeling tight in my chest & no – It’s definitely not heartburn. Not yet, at least. I think it might be… passion? I forgot how much I enjoy writing. I forgot how much I enjoy blogging, and sharing, and trying to be funny.* I don’t think I’ve ever actually had or experienced or known passion. The only other emotion I can compare it to is love. & I totally and completely and unapologetically know what love is (thanks to the incredible people in my life.)
So, what else is there? More BABY STUFF??! I think the only thing I forgot to mention is the Due Date 🙂 Which is December 3rd! Can you believe that? A baby just in time for Christmas, my heart can’t even handle it. My face hurts from smiling.
BUT WHAT ABOUT DELIA!?!
Don’t you DARE think I would sum up this post without going into EXCRUCIATING detail about EVERYTHING that is going on inside of ~Delia’s World~ In 2 weeks she will have her end of the year dance recital** And shortly after that she looks forward to auditioning for her studio’s competitive team! Fingers crossed – she is so excited for this and talks about it D A I L Y. We are in the middle of softball season, and if I’m not mistaken the Mariners are 3-2-1 & we couldn’t be more proud! I’m glad to say she’s thoroughly enjoying being 8 years old and in 2nd grade, despite the fact that she has had to tackle her first ever book report (which, if I must say, I think she totally s l a y e d) and there has been a bit of a hiccup in the “friends department” which I think is totally normal/silly/lame girl stuff that she’s unfortunately going to have to continue to learn how to navigate. Girls. Are. The. Worst. She is completely over the moon about the idea of becoming a big sister. And honestly, in regards to this baby, out of all of us, I think I’m most happy for Delia. This poor girl has been asking Santa year after year for a baby brother or sister and now she’s FINALLY getting one. She is already the best big sister E V E R. Also, at this point in time Delia is very adamant that she would like to get her ears pierced. I’m hoping this passes. When she’s not building forts with the neighbor boys, catching butterflies, or trying to use made up spells to turn herself into a mermaid, her nose is in a book. Reading is still ever present in her life and I love that for her. She’s still sweet & sassy & and her mama’s girl. 💕
Okay, I think I’m finally done, and not because my palms are getting really sweaty. Okay, let’s be real, that’s totally why. Because honestly I could go on forever.
But yeah, that’s pretty much it! Oh, except for the fact that John is still the best and doing awesome but like everybody already knows that 🙂 Now that we’re all on the same page maybe I’ll start doing more fun blog posts on a regular basis!? We’ll see!
Thank you for reading. Truly.
P.S. JVJ is still an E X T R E M E L Y G’BOY 2
*Please give me positive reinforcement because like lamely insecure.
**I CANNOT WAIT FOR DANCE TO BE OVER OMG I’M THE WORST MOM EVER BUT I’M SO FRIGGIN’ OVER IT!